Thank God, it's time.
It's time to put the last few years to rest.
It's time to let go of the fear, the uncertainty, and the constant state of unease.
It's time to heal.
Thank God it's time to heal.
This isn't the first time I've been in this place. I've experienced life's valleys before. I've been in the throes of crisis and the subsequent journey back to peace. I've risen from the ashes before.
But not like this.
When I claimed it was the last five years that nearly did me in, I was probably being a bit melodramatic. Really, it's been about three. But as you and I can probably agree, it was the worst three years so far.
You know me, I'm an optimist. But by the end of these last three years, it was very hard to see the good.
And THAT was what almost did me in. I couldn't see the good.
I saw fear. I saw pain. I saw dread. I saw conflict and violence. And it went on and on and on.
I did the only thing I could do. I hid.
I hid under my blankie on my couch and closed my eyes tight, hoping it would all go away.
It didn't.
Of course, I can't see what the future holds. Maybe it's worse, who knows. But for today, I feel a reprieve.
I'm not the same optimist I was before. Seeing rainbows and unicorns was my natural state. Today, I'm happy if I feel something, anything, besides fear and dread.
Today I woke up, and the sun was shining.
Today, I woke up, and I WANTED to do good things for myself. Today I WANTED to exercise and do yoga and read good books that make me feel good. Today I WANTED something better.
They say that which does not kill you makes you stronger. If that's true, I have no doubt I now have the strength to survive anything. Maybe not with a smile in my heart, but survival is possible.
And after survival comes healing.
I hope you are ready for healing too.
My plans include yoga, meditation, running, reading, writing, and photography. My plans include smiling and seeing the sunshine. My plans include practicing gratitude and sharing joy.
I send my plans to the heavens and ask for the Universe's blessing.
We can't (and shouldn't) see what tomorrow brings. We can only see one day at a time. And today, I see HOPE.
I pray you see HOPE too.
May we love each other and ourselves back to a place of peace and joy. We know a bit more about how ugly the world can be, but let's remember the love, the beauty, and the hope that still lives.
May we find it.
Love,
Jennifer
