About 30 days ago, I accepted the fact that I wanted to be happier, and I decided to do something about it. The fear and the drudge that 2020 brought were no longer useful to me. I know I am not meant to live in fear and dread.
So I did what I do. I found a book. This time, the Universe handed me You, Happier: The 7 Neuroscience Secrets of Feeling Good Based on Your Brain Type by Daniel Amen, MD (2022). Through the lens of neuroscience, Dr. Amen presents information and practices that help you nourish your brain so the happy chemicals and hormones can do their job better.
I immediately changed my diet (living on protein shakes does not do enough for your brain to feel happy). I started taking the supplements that support my specific brain type (Sensitive-Cautious-Persistent). I noticed the effect the very next day - I already felt so much more positive and hopeful. That was enough for me to commit to a change.
I took the happiness quiz again. I went from a 2.6 to a 4.17. I have met my goal of being happier. I can feel it.,
So, why do I tell you all this?
Because God gave us the ability to change how we feel. If we continue to attach ourselves to thoughts of fear, dread, and accusation, we will continue to feel trapped in an unhappy world. But if we choose to let go and forgive those accusatory thoughts, they won't affect us. It really is that simple.
In doing this work, I was reminded of my true purpose - to spread Love. It's hard to spread love when you are trapped in fearful and judgmental thinking. It feels like the only thing you're capable of is self-protection. And the love you try to share feels contrived and inauthentic. But there comes a moment when you realize the futility of the fear and wasted energy. And that is the moment you begin to let go.
(In addition to the resource I mentioned above, I want to remind you about Judgement Detox Release the Beliefs that Hold You Back from Living a Better Life by Gabrielle Bernstein (2018). It's another game-changer.)
Some might wonder, is being happy really that important? There are those who will say it is our moral obligation. I agree. The author of You, Happier offers this quote:
"One of my favorite short videos that I encourage all of my patients to watch is by Dennis Prager. In “Why Be Happy,” he suggests that happiness is a moral obligation. He says: Whether or not you’re happy, and most importantly, whether or not you act happy is about altruism, not selfishness—because it is about how we affect others’ lives. . . . Ask anybody who was raised by an unhappy parent whether or not happiness is a moral issue, and I assure you the answer will be “yes.” It is no fun being raised by an unhappy parent or being married to an unhappy person or being the parent of an unhappy child or working with an unhappy coworker."
My point is this - You can do something about how you feel. You can create a happy, content life if you really want to. But it takes a willingness to let all your thoughts be scrutinized and disowned when they are not helpful. There is a part of your mind that will always try to trip you up. But it doesn't control you, it only tempts you. You get to decide whether or not it will dictate how you feel or act.
If you're chronically unhappy - please, please don't give up. My words alone are not enough, but there is a way out. It takes effort and commitment, but it is possible. Winston Churchill said, "When you're going through hell, keep going." Seek out the help you need. Please. For those suffering from long-term crippling anxiety or depression, I know it's not as easy as I make it sound. I've been there. I really do know. But there are many people and places that can support you. Reach out for help.
Ask the Universe to guide you. Ask to be led to the resources you need. The Universe will oblige.
I hope you came out of the pandemic feeling more positive than I did. I hope you never lost your spark. But if you did, you can find it again. I promise.
When you're coming out of a dark place, the road can seem long and scary. But we are not alone. We are loved and cared for beyond our wildest imagination. Let's help each other find the light again.
With love,
Jennifer
References
Amen, Daniel G. . You, Happier: The 7 Neuroscience Secrets of Feeling Good Based on Your Brain Type (pp. 3-4). Tyndale House Publishers. Kindle Edition.
Bernstein, Gabrielle. Judgment Detox: Release the Beliefs That Hold You Back from Living A Better Life (p. 203). Gallery Books. Kindle Edition.
