Been a While

So...it's been a while.

A couple of years to be exact.  Okay, almost three.  But I'm still here.

Here  is a list of things I know now that I didn't know then.

1.  I'm stronger than I ever imagined.
2.  hmmm....

Well, I am.  Stronger than I ever imagined, that is.  I considered crying today.  It was the first time (that I remember, anyway) in two years that I'd considered crying over stress.  Two years, a master's degree, a new career, a new marriage, three new step-children, and every day that runs non-stop until I fall into bed at night only to wake up the next day and do it all again.

Who IS this new person I've become?  I used to fall apart.  I don't fall apart anymore.  I hold things together.  Some days it feels like I hold EVERYTHING together.  For everyone.  And the truth is, I love doing it.  I love being a mentor, a coach, a teacher, a support, a cheerleader, and a shoulder to cry on for all the ones I've come to love working with.  I love knowing the direction I want my children to grow in and being strategic about every word and hug and kiss I give to them.  I love knowing the man of my dreams needs me to be sane and strong and stable for him (just as he is for me).  I love knowing that no matter how much I struggle in being a step-mother, it is imperative for me to be kind and respectful to my step-kids.

Okay, so the truth is...today I cried.  Today I wished somebody, anybody, could understand all that my brain does in a day.

I've learned a few other things too.  I've learned that real love does exist (I knew it!!!).  I've learned that honesty and compassion don't need politics.  I've learned that there's always a solution.  I've learned that hard work and determination are very rewarding in themselves.  I've learned that children really are absorbing what we're telling them.  I've learned that you always get another chance tomorrow.

I remember a time when I cried once a WEEK.  That's progress.

Hope to be back in the blogging world.  Words for life, so to speak.

Hey, what a catchy title!

Sincerely,

Jennifer