As I may have mentioned, I love my planner, It has a place to mark if you aligned with your vision each day (yay, vision board!) as well as a place to write your intention for the day. Sometimes I remember to write an intention statement, but even if I do, I have usually forgotten it by the end of the day. So, when I happened to glance at my planner this evening, I was reminded of this morning's intention - I will honor what is with grace.
Today was hell. It started with a small memorial for a colleague who died last week. I don't cry often, but today I just sobbed in the arms of another coworker. It was rough. Then I had to leave quickly since I realized that the clock I had been watching to gauge the time wasn't actually moving. (I'm so observant.) So I rushed back to work only to find the appointment had been cancelled anyway. Then I spent almost the entire day trying to solve a coworker's technical issues. And then, I stayed too late doing the work I had been avoiding all day.
Did I honor all that is with grace?
I cry ugly. And boy, did I cry. In fact, I sobbed all the way to my car and on the drive back to work. Was I "graceful"? No, like I said - ugly. And did I serenely accept the technical issues for what they were? Nope. We beat our heads against that wall all day. (We won in the end!) And was I feeling gracious when I left work two hours past contract time? No. I felt exhausted.
So when today's intention caught my eye, I stopped for a moment to reflect on my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
And here's the thing. I remember making a conscious decision to allow myself to double over against the wall sobbing knowing full well that someone could probably hear me. That's grace. And when a major mistake was uncovered today, and those two ladies came to confess? What was my response to them? Pure grace. And my willingness to put my friend's technical needs above my own to do list? That's got grace written all over it. And yes, I was tired at the end of it all (and not functioning the best), but I knew I was leaving late because I had given myself permission to work at a slower pace and to allow my to do list to remain unconquered. That sounds like grace to me.
Holy shit, Universe! We did it!
Rachel Hollis says, "Give yourself permission to do the best you can and the grace to be peaceful on the days when you miss the mark."
These times are so hard. We're all very much sick and tired. These days, we're missing the mark constantly. It takes strength to surrender. It takes courage to allow yourself to do today's best, knowing it's not enough to solve our problems. We're really going through it. But if we reach deep, there is grace, and there is enough grace within us to deal with what life throws at us. I promise.
May we all find the strength to have grace for the world, for each other, and most importantly, for ourselves. Let's honor what is with grace.,
With love and grace,
Jennifer