I apologize. I know I already wrote today. But that was at like 2:00 this morning, so surely you'll forgive me for writing more. Besides, what I found today was too good. I had to share.
If you haven't yet bought the book, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, buy it. Read it. Read it. Read it. I cannot suggest it strongly enough. Read it.
These words are hers alone, I take no credit. Although, I suspect they are not even her words. God is speaking to her, to me, to you, through these words. Listen to what they said to me today.
"I AM LEADING YOU along a way that is uniquely right for you. The closer to Me you grow, the more fully you become your true self - the one I designed you to be. Because you are one of a kind, the path you are traveling with Me diverges increasingly from that of other people. However, in My mysterious wisdom and ways, I enable you to follow this solitary path while staying in close contact with others. In fact, the more completely you devote yourself to Me, the more freely you can love people.
"Marvel at the beauty of a life intertwined with My Presence. Rejoice as we journey together in intimate communion. Enjoy the adventure of finding yourself through losing yourself in Me."
- December 30, Jesus Calling, Sarah Young, 2004.
That is why I love my God so much. He knows me. He loves me. He has infinite gifts He is just waiting to give me. If only I will receive.
When my heart broke recently, my faith was almost shattered. You see, when I found that man, I found a relationship that God was so obviously creating. And when that man abandoned me, I was lost. I didn't question him so much (although cynicism has helped to create some blame), but I did question God. How could God be so obviously working, just to dump me on my...butt.
And where did God GO after all this was over? What happened to all those little miracles I saw everyday? Why did He disappear so suddenly?
Now, the realistic part of my brain, or at least the Southern-Baptist-raised part, knew He hadn't gone anywhere. I knew it was me. I even knew that my doubt and fear had taken over. I was choosing not to trust Him. 'Cause trusting Him had hurt me. Really, really badly.
So, today after reading this - and again hearing His voice so obviously speaking directly to me - I formed a new thought. Yes, in recent weeks, my heart has been smashed against the rocks. I have been broken into more pieces than I can count. Huge chunks of Jennifer lay all around me.
I thought what I was supposed to do when that happened was to gather all those pieces into my arms and bravely get up and keep walking.
But today, I'm looking at those broken off pieces a little more carefully. That one there looks an awful lot like Pride. And this one, appears to be Doubt. And all those sharp shards over there...yep, Fear. I see Self-Protection and Self-Sufficiency. Eww, and that really ugly one seems to resemble Idolatry - putting a human before God.
Hmmm.
So, is this Exhibit B? More evidence that Jennifer doesn't always know what's best for Jennifer? But maybe, just maybe, God does?
Did I need to break apart to have some more of those ugly pieces fall away?
Maybe.
I don't get to see the Big Picture. I only get to see right now. And I want very badly to do Right Now well.
Thank you, God, for your loving care for me. Thank you for your perfect Plan for me. Even when I don't get it.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Day 361...Again
So, I got my calendar all numbered. You know, the one where I count down the 365 days that I will NOT actively pursue a relationship with a man. And I was very, very careful about my numbering since I was doing it with a Sharpie, and I didn't want to mess up. But as I finished - I had started on December 24, 2012 with the number 1 and went backwards - I noticed that something wasn't quite right. Yesterday, which was Thursday, should have been Day 361, but according to the calendar, today - Friday - was day 361. It was quite disconcerting. I double checked my numbers. They were all correct. Hmmm.
So, I let it go for a day or so. I continued living my life, but all the while, it was nagging at the back of my mind. Where did that extra day come from? At least two days went by, and the mystery remained unsolved.
Oh. Leap year.
See, that's the thing about my brain. It's not perfect. Sometimes the answer to a problem will be so obvious, yet I still miss it. Other times, (and my apologies - again - to those of you who have experienced this with me) I will somehow plan two elaborately detailed events, never realizing that I planned them for the exact same time. Or, there's the time or two I've forgotten to pick up my children. That was a killer.
Or how about the times I run late? Or I forget a birthday. Or I fail to put gas in my car in time. (Actually, that one was more of an adventure.)
How about when my house is a mess and I let it stay that way for a while? Or when I don't put clean laundry away for weeks. Or when I stay in my pajamas until 5 p.m. Or when I work too hard. Or when I cry. Or when I get angry. Or when I just plain fail.
See, my point is, I'm not perfect. And I'm okay with that today. There was a time I wasn't. And I was crazy and very difficult to be around. I like to think I'm a nicer person today. I know how to let go of the imperfections.
A friend told me yesterday that part of my problem is I always want more. But I don't think that's a problem. I do always want more. I always want to BE more. I always want to LEARN more. I always want to ENJOY more. And the only way I've found to do that successfully is to let go of most of the expectations I place on myself and others.
A guy I dated recently (yep, same one - see how my attitude is changing?) wanted me to be perfect. He said that the girl who got frustrated wasn't the authentic me. BS.
The authentic me IS imperfect. And I love it that way. I forgive myself when I forget. I forgive myself when I foul up. And I'm learning to forgive myself even when I fail.
Jane Fonda is reported to have said, "We need to help (each other) really internalize the message that good enough is good enough. We don't need to be perfect. We're not supposed to be perfect; we're supposed to be complete. And you can't be complete if you're trying to be perfect."
The Bible says it too: "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." God's grace has erased our imperfections. Shouldn't we do the same for ourselves and for each other?
Life gets messy. Get over it. Live it. Love it. Enjoy not having to be perfect.
Works for me.
Sincerely, Jennifer
So, I let it go for a day or so. I continued living my life, but all the while, it was nagging at the back of my mind. Where did that extra day come from? At least two days went by, and the mystery remained unsolved.
Oh. Leap year.
See, that's the thing about my brain. It's not perfect. Sometimes the answer to a problem will be so obvious, yet I still miss it. Other times, (and my apologies - again - to those of you who have experienced this with me) I will somehow plan two elaborately detailed events, never realizing that I planned them for the exact same time. Or, there's the time or two I've forgotten to pick up my children. That was a killer.
Or how about the times I run late? Or I forget a birthday. Or I fail to put gas in my car in time. (Actually, that one was more of an adventure.)
How about when my house is a mess and I let it stay that way for a while? Or when I don't put clean laundry away for weeks. Or when I stay in my pajamas until 5 p.m. Or when I work too hard. Or when I cry. Or when I get angry. Or when I just plain fail.
See, my point is, I'm not perfect. And I'm okay with that today. There was a time I wasn't. And I was crazy and very difficult to be around. I like to think I'm a nicer person today. I know how to let go of the imperfections.
A friend told me yesterday that part of my problem is I always want more. But I don't think that's a problem. I do always want more. I always want to BE more. I always want to LEARN more. I always want to ENJOY more. And the only way I've found to do that successfully is to let go of most of the expectations I place on myself and others.
A guy I dated recently (yep, same one - see how my attitude is changing?) wanted me to be perfect. He said that the girl who got frustrated wasn't the authentic me. BS.
The authentic me IS imperfect. And I love it that way. I forgive myself when I forget. I forgive myself when I foul up. And I'm learning to forgive myself even when I fail.
Jane Fonda is reported to have said, "We need to help (each other) really internalize the message that good enough is good enough. We don't need to be perfect. We're not supposed to be perfect; we're supposed to be complete. And you can't be complete if you're trying to be perfect."
The Bible says it too: "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." God's grace has erased our imperfections. Shouldn't we do the same for ourselves and for each other?
Life gets messy. Get over it. Live it. Love it. Enjoy not having to be perfect.
Works for me.
Sincerely, Jennifer
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Day 362 - Think Before You Speak
Wow. Are we at day 362 already? See? These 365 days without a man are just flying by.
So, I bought this calendar a couple months back - a 2012 calendar with cool and trendy motivational sayings for each month. It's black and white and says some very positive and uplifting and empowering things. I decided it would be perfect for this little project I've got going. I'd number the days backwards until the time is up - Christmas of 2012. I'd hang it on my bathroom mirror where I can see it everyday.
Except, I can't find the dang thing. It sat on my dresser forever, still wrapped in plastic, and I guess in one of my rare moments of cleaning, I put it in a more respectful place. And now I can't find it. I haven't given up looking - I'm sure it will turn up. But it's mysterious disappearance led to yet another fine lesson for Jennifer - signed, sealed, and delivered straight from God.
I was reaching behind the dresser to see if it had fallen when my hand touched something calendar like, so I pulled it out. It wasn't the calendar, it was a card. A card I didn't even remember seeing before. I could tell by the front that it was a boyfriend (or husband) relationship card, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember where or when it had come from. So I looked inside.
Inside, I found the most loving words ever. "I love you...I realized today that in you, God has given me everything I ever wanted. Your expressions of love - in word, thought, touch, and action, are what I always hoped for...I love you. I want you to have my heart." Beautiful, huh?
Except, the card was from me. To an ex-boyfriend. An ex-boyfriend I broke up with. An ex-boyfriend that I had broken up with because, in the end, I knew the relationship lacked the things I needed - love and emotional intimacy and connection. Oops.
Hmmm. Guess I'm not so smart after all, huh?
Wow. Now I have an actual tangible piece of evidence - exhibit A, we'll call it - that shows me in black and white (and a pretty blue) that Jennifer has no flipping clue what is best for her. A piece of evidence that proves I shouldn't be so quick to jump in, to declare my undying love, to think that "this is the One." Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut for awhile. Like a whole year.
And it makes me sorry. Sorry I said those things when in the end, they weren't true. Sort of like when someone said them to me, and it the end, they weren't true. It hurts when someone says those things, but in the end, doesn't mean them. At least not forever. Maybe those words are too powerful and shouldn't be said...until...until when?
Maybe there's a time of high emotion in a new relationship that one enjoys but must be careful and vigilant with their words. And only if the relationship stands the test of time should one say those kinds of things. I don't know. I'm not in a relationship, so I have no idea.
Gonna put that card somewhere where I can see it for awhile. I need to remember the lesson of that card. Pretty important stuff. Life stuff. And that's what this year is all about.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
So, I bought this calendar a couple months back - a 2012 calendar with cool and trendy motivational sayings for each month. It's black and white and says some very positive and uplifting and empowering things. I decided it would be perfect for this little project I've got going. I'd number the days backwards until the time is up - Christmas of 2012. I'd hang it on my bathroom mirror where I can see it everyday.
Except, I can't find the dang thing. It sat on my dresser forever, still wrapped in plastic, and I guess in one of my rare moments of cleaning, I put it in a more respectful place. And now I can't find it. I haven't given up looking - I'm sure it will turn up. But it's mysterious disappearance led to yet another fine lesson for Jennifer - signed, sealed, and delivered straight from God.
I was reaching behind the dresser to see if it had fallen when my hand touched something calendar like, so I pulled it out. It wasn't the calendar, it was a card. A card I didn't even remember seeing before. I could tell by the front that it was a boyfriend (or husband) relationship card, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember where or when it had come from. So I looked inside.
Inside, I found the most loving words ever. "I love you...I realized today that in you, God has given me everything I ever wanted. Your expressions of love - in word, thought, touch, and action, are what I always hoped for...I love you. I want you to have my heart." Beautiful, huh?
Except, the card was from me. To an ex-boyfriend. An ex-boyfriend I broke up with. An ex-boyfriend that I had broken up with because, in the end, I knew the relationship lacked the things I needed - love and emotional intimacy and connection. Oops.
Hmmm. Guess I'm not so smart after all, huh?
Wow. Now I have an actual tangible piece of evidence - exhibit A, we'll call it - that shows me in black and white (and a pretty blue) that Jennifer has no flipping clue what is best for her. A piece of evidence that proves I shouldn't be so quick to jump in, to declare my undying love, to think that "this is the One." Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut for awhile. Like a whole year.
And it makes me sorry. Sorry I said those things when in the end, they weren't true. Sort of like when someone said them to me, and it the end, they weren't true. It hurts when someone says those things, but in the end, doesn't mean them. At least not forever. Maybe those words are too powerful and shouldn't be said...until...until when?
Maybe there's a time of high emotion in a new relationship that one enjoys but must be careful and vigilant with their words. And only if the relationship stands the test of time should one say those kinds of things. I don't know. I'm not in a relationship, so I have no idea.
Gonna put that card somewhere where I can see it for awhile. I need to remember the lesson of that card. Pretty important stuff. Life stuff. And that's what this year is all about.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Monday, December 26, 2011
Day 364 - Maybe I Can't Choose My Reaction, but I Can Choose My Response
It started as a beautiful morning. Smiles on my children's faces as their father came to pick them up for what could be a week long break for me. Ahhh....a day all to myself. What should I do with it? I stayed in my pajamas as long as possible until I had to get cleaned up to meet my friend for coffee.
I was excited to tell her about my idea. This idea of 365 days without a man. (364 left, by the way). I was almost giddy. And I felt strong and empowered. She said I was crazy.
Then we talked some more. We talked for two hours about the possibilities of what could be the most meaningful year of our lives. A year without drama, at least not self-inflicted drama. A year of family - the ones we've been blessed with, not the one we don't have. A year of peace and contentment. A whole year get to know who we really are and to fall madly and deeply in love with that person, maybe so much so that we'd never make a poor choice in a man again.
Then "HE" emailed.
I swear, I checked my phone, just for a half a second, and BAM! Right between the (ahem) eyes. The name I'd been hoping to see for what seems like forever finally popped up on my email. And I freaked out.
Not a nice little dainty freak out, I mean a full fledged, head on, freak out. Like stopped breathing and started shaking and paced the coffee shop like a mad woman freaked out. Immediate crying. BLECK.
Now, if this isn't a good enough reason to take a year off men, well, then I don't know what is.
I didn't even read the email. My friend did. It wasn't worth reading, she said. It didn't say, I was wrong, you are the woman for me, I love you with all my heart and I'm ready to give it to you for real this time, and I'll never take it away again. It didn't say anything like that, she told me. It was basically a thank you card. A thoughtless, insensitive, cruel thank you card. We deleted it. And his email address....again. From both email accounts...again.
Probably took two more hours for my breathing to return to normal and to stop shaking. Thirty-nine years old, and I've never experienced this kind of CRAP before...this intense physical response to a person. It sucks.
So, I took a nap.
I didn't email him back. I didn't text him. I didn't drive by his house. I don't even remember his email adress or phone number. Score a point for me.
Does he have to know my reaction to his thoughtless note? Nope. Never. You all don't even know him, and those of you who do...I know you'll never tell.
I woke from my nap, feeling refreshed. I went to meet with a group of friends. I went to the drug store for eye drops since my beautiful youngest son gave me pink eye. I came home. I made soup. As soon as I post this, I am going to watch Lake House, which I've been wanting to see for what seems like weeks, and when I saw it on sale at Best Buy, I bought it for myself for Christmas. And tonight, I will watch it. Because I can. Because tonight I can do whatever I damn well please, and that means I can choose NOT to respond to someone's insensitivity and I can choose NOT to lamblast his character all over the internet and I can choose NOT to drown my sorrows and I can choose, instead, to love me, to care for me, and to do...the next right thing.
Day 364...almost over. I won today. I won the battle I rage against myself at times. I don't understand why hurtful things happen. But they do. And I will recover. One day at a time.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
I was excited to tell her about my idea. This idea of 365 days without a man. (364 left, by the way). I was almost giddy. And I felt strong and empowered. She said I was crazy.
Then we talked some more. We talked for two hours about the possibilities of what could be the most meaningful year of our lives. A year without drama, at least not self-inflicted drama. A year of family - the ones we've been blessed with, not the one we don't have. A year of peace and contentment. A whole year get to know who we really are and to fall madly and deeply in love with that person, maybe so much so that we'd never make a poor choice in a man again.
Then "HE" emailed.
I swear, I checked my phone, just for a half a second, and BAM! Right between the (ahem) eyes. The name I'd been hoping to see for what seems like forever finally popped up on my email. And I freaked out.
Not a nice little dainty freak out, I mean a full fledged, head on, freak out. Like stopped breathing and started shaking and paced the coffee shop like a mad woman freaked out. Immediate crying. BLECK.
Now, if this isn't a good enough reason to take a year off men, well, then I don't know what is.
I didn't even read the email. My friend did. It wasn't worth reading, she said. It didn't say, I was wrong, you are the woman for me, I love you with all my heart and I'm ready to give it to you for real this time, and I'll never take it away again. It didn't say anything like that, she told me. It was basically a thank you card. A thoughtless, insensitive, cruel thank you card. We deleted it. And his email address....again. From both email accounts...again.
Probably took two more hours for my breathing to return to normal and to stop shaking. Thirty-nine years old, and I've never experienced this kind of CRAP before...this intense physical response to a person. It sucks.
So, I took a nap.
I didn't email him back. I didn't text him. I didn't drive by his house. I don't even remember his email adress or phone number. Score a point for me.
Does he have to know my reaction to his thoughtless note? Nope. Never. You all don't even know him, and those of you who do...I know you'll never tell.
I woke from my nap, feeling refreshed. I went to meet with a group of friends. I went to the drug store for eye drops since my beautiful youngest son gave me pink eye. I came home. I made soup. As soon as I post this, I am going to watch Lake House, which I've been wanting to see for what seems like weeks, and when I saw it on sale at Best Buy, I bought it for myself for Christmas. And tonight, I will watch it. Because I can. Because tonight I can do whatever I damn well please, and that means I can choose NOT to respond to someone's insensitivity and I can choose NOT to lamblast his character all over the internet and I can choose NOT to drown my sorrows and I can choose, instead, to love me, to care for me, and to do...the next right thing.
Day 364...almost over. I won today. I won the battle I rage against myself at times. I don't understand why hurtful things happen. But they do. And I will recover. One day at a time.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Sunday, December 25, 2011
The New Year
Ahh....Christams is over. A wonderful time was had by all. A time of love and children's smiles and remembering how much Jesus and our Father loves us. For me, it was also a time of pain. A time of saying goodbye to what never was. A time of finally releasing my hold on that big boulder I was carrying around in my backpack. I may pick it up again, but for today, I let go.
So, now I'm thinking about 2012. The Mayans and whoever else said this will be our last hoorah. Who knows? I certainly don't. And, I really don't care.
But I did start thinking about what I want this next year. And I got an idea. A really big "What if?" idea. And I may not be fully comitted, but I think I might be.
What if 2012 was MY year? What if 2012 was the year I spent content with what has been given me? What if, in 2012, I DIDN'T seek out a relationship? What if for one whole year, I spent time with just me...and my children...and my beautiful and loving friends? What if I learned to be happy with things just the way they are?
What if I focused my efforts on being the best mom I am RIGHT NOW. What if I could be the best teacher I am RIGHT NOW. What if I could be the best friend I can be...RIGHT NOW.
What if I learned to let go of what I don't have, what I never had, and what I really don't need.
What if I learned to be at peace? For a whole year. What if I learned to really balance my budget...all by myself. What if I learned to be strong and beautiful...all on my own...and I loved who I was and shone the beauty of that person for all to see and love.
What if I really loved others? Deeply and compassionately, as well as passionately, with the same love that God has given to me - to all of us.
What if I went back to yoga class - where I learned to be strong and independent. What if I kept getting my master's degree and continued on the path God has put me on - this time without getting sidetracked. What if I continued to show those at work that I am strong and brave and intelligent and articulate and wise? What if I learned to communicate with those who disagree with me? What if I learned to love those who hurt me? What if I was a voice for all those who needed help? What if I let God use me?
What if I didn't chase a man this year? What if I was happy just to be me - independent and strong. What if I lived peacefully and independently in this beautiful home that God has given me, with these beautiful boys that God has given me, loving and being loved by the wonderful friends God has given me, being a faithful sister and daughter to the family God has given me. What if I was what God intended me to be - for one whole year.
365 days. A blink. Can I do it? I don't know. Does God have other intentions? I don't know. And it doesn't really matter. 'Cause I'm willing. And He knows it.
Until next Christmas - single, content, living, loving - Jennifer.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
So, now I'm thinking about 2012. The Mayans and whoever else said this will be our last hoorah. Who knows? I certainly don't. And, I really don't care.
But I did start thinking about what I want this next year. And I got an idea. A really big "What if?" idea. And I may not be fully comitted, but I think I might be.
What if 2012 was MY year? What if 2012 was the year I spent content with what has been given me? What if, in 2012, I DIDN'T seek out a relationship? What if for one whole year, I spent time with just me...and my children...and my beautiful and loving friends? What if I learned to be happy with things just the way they are?
What if I focused my efforts on being the best mom I am RIGHT NOW. What if I could be the best teacher I am RIGHT NOW. What if I could be the best friend I can be...RIGHT NOW.
What if I learned to let go of what I don't have, what I never had, and what I really don't need.
What if I learned to be at peace? For a whole year. What if I learned to really balance my budget...all by myself. What if I learned to be strong and beautiful...all on my own...and I loved who I was and shone the beauty of that person for all to see and love.
What if I really loved others? Deeply and compassionately, as well as passionately, with the same love that God has given to me - to all of us.
What if I went back to yoga class - where I learned to be strong and independent. What if I kept getting my master's degree and continued on the path God has put me on - this time without getting sidetracked. What if I continued to show those at work that I am strong and brave and intelligent and articulate and wise? What if I learned to communicate with those who disagree with me? What if I learned to love those who hurt me? What if I was a voice for all those who needed help? What if I let God use me?
What if I didn't chase a man this year? What if I was happy just to be me - independent and strong. What if I lived peacefully and independently in this beautiful home that God has given me, with these beautiful boys that God has given me, loving and being loved by the wonderful friends God has given me, being a faithful sister and daughter to the family God has given me. What if I was what God intended me to be - for one whole year.
365 days. A blink. Can I do it? I don't know. Does God have other intentions? I don't know. And it doesn't really matter. 'Cause I'm willing. And He knows it.
Until next Christmas - single, content, living, loving - Jennifer.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Merry Christmas
Hey, you out there. Yeah, you. You, the one with the broken heart that I couldn't fix. The one I loved with all my heart and soul. The one I still love. The one who broke my heart and who I should think is completely crazy. But I don't. I miss you.
Hey, you. It's Christmas. Are you alone? Are you not? Are you happy? Are you joyous? Are you the peaceful you want so desperately to be?
Have you let go of your hate yet? I doubt it. It was pretty strong. Did you know I would have loved you through all that hate? I would have. I guess I shouldn't have, for in truth, I am not. But I would have. If you had let me.
One part of my mind doesn't want to be anywhere near you. I ache when I have to see you. I am in pain. I think of you all the time, and it hurts my soul. You are the boulder in my backpack I don't know how to get rid of. "Let it go." Right. I wish I could. I so wish I could.
The other part of my mind loves you. I think of what should have been. I think of what could have been. I hope and pray you'll be around the next corner. I hope and pray and thank God that you're not. Then I look for you again around the next.
This hurts. Merry Christmas.
Hey, you. It's Christmas. Are you alone? Are you not? Are you happy? Are you joyous? Are you the peaceful you want so desperately to be?
Have you let go of your hate yet? I doubt it. It was pretty strong. Did you know I would have loved you through all that hate? I would have. I guess I shouldn't have, for in truth, I am not. But I would have. If you had let me.
One part of my mind doesn't want to be anywhere near you. I ache when I have to see you. I am in pain. I think of you all the time, and it hurts my soul. You are the boulder in my backpack I don't know how to get rid of. "Let it go." Right. I wish I could. I so wish I could.
The other part of my mind loves you. I think of what should have been. I think of what could have been. I hope and pray you'll be around the next corner. I hope and pray and thank God that you're not. Then I look for you again around the next.
This hurts. Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Reality Check
Thank you, God, for what I do have.
Thank you, God, for my beautiful children.
Thank you for my amazing friends.
Thank you for my job.
Thank you that I am enjoying my job.
Thank you for my comfortable home.
Thank you for a car that runs.
Thank you for the food you provide to me and my family.
Thank you for your Loving Presence in my life and in my soul.
Thank you for a time of family and love and togetherness.
Thank you for a sound mind.
Thank you for giving me a loving heart and an appreciation of peace.
Thank you for a healthy body that functions as it should.
Thank you for the daily lessons, even the ones I don't yet understand.
Thank you for the gifts I have not yet received.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Thank you, God, for my beautiful children.
Thank you for my amazing friends.
Thank you for my job.
Thank you that I am enjoying my job.
Thank you for my comfortable home.
Thank you for a car that runs.
Thank you for the food you provide to me and my family.
Thank you for your Loving Presence in my life and in my soul.
Thank you for a time of family and love and togetherness.
Thank you for a sound mind.
Thank you for giving me a loving heart and an appreciation of peace.
Thank you for a healthy body that functions as it should.
Thank you for the daily lessons, even the ones I don't yet understand.
Thank you for the gifts I have not yet received.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Saturday, December 10, 2011
What's Important
Someone said my words have been a blessing.
That is why I write them.
We need each other. Badly. We live our lives, rushing from one responsibility to the next, trying to do the best we can, often giving until there is nothing left. It leaves us feeling exhausted, used up, and irritable. We wonder when someone will give to us as much as we give to others. It isn't fair, we sometimes think.
It isn't fair. No one ever said this was about being fair. As the Bare Naked Ladies say, "I think it's time to make this something more than only fair."
We need something more than fair. We need love.
Fair doesn't even exist within the realm of love. Love is so much greater than fair.
Think of God's amazing love. Nothing fair about that, eh?
It's time for a paradigm shift. It's time for a change in our understanding.
When we love, we experience love. When we open ourselves up to communicating our need for love, we experience love. Love is unlike anything our human minds can comprehend. We see the world in terms of limited resources. Love is something completely different. It is in loving, even during the hard, awful, and painful parts, that we are saved from the harsh realities of life.
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing...[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Let's love each other, shall we?
No one gets out of this game alive. And all these things we think are so damn important....well, they aren't. A hundred years from now, will any of this matter?
Love will still matter.
Remember what's important.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
That is why I write them.
We need each other. Badly. We live our lives, rushing from one responsibility to the next, trying to do the best we can, often giving until there is nothing left. It leaves us feeling exhausted, used up, and irritable. We wonder when someone will give to us as much as we give to others. It isn't fair, we sometimes think.
It isn't fair. No one ever said this was about being fair. As the Bare Naked Ladies say, "I think it's time to make this something more than only fair."
We need something more than fair. We need love.
Fair doesn't even exist within the realm of love. Love is so much greater than fair.
Think of God's amazing love. Nothing fair about that, eh?
It's time for a paradigm shift. It's time for a change in our understanding.
When we love, we experience love. When we open ourselves up to communicating our need for love, we experience love. Love is unlike anything our human minds can comprehend. We see the world in terms of limited resources. Love is something completely different. It is in loving, even during the hard, awful, and painful parts, that we are saved from the harsh realities of life.
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing...[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Let's love each other, shall we?
No one gets out of this game alive. And all these things we think are so damn important....well, they aren't. A hundred years from now, will any of this matter?
Love will still matter.
Remember what's important.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Perspective
"My thoughts are not your thoughts; neither are your ways My ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways and thoughts higher than yours."
Thank God.
You know, I am so glad I'm not in charge.
There is so much crazy in the world, so much dysfunction. Some people are so hurt that they cannot keep from hurting others. And so the cycle continues.
And yet, despite all our worst efforts, He continues to love us. He continues to guide us and lead us, beckoning us on to green pastures and still waters.
There are some people in this world I will never understand. I don't know how they became so hurt. I don't know why they choose to carry their resentments like torches, burning themselves and those who try to care about them. I just don't get it.
But...
If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the FINAL analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
Thank God.
You know, I am so glad I'm not in charge.
There is so much crazy in the world, so much dysfunction. Some people are so hurt that they cannot keep from hurting others. And so the cycle continues.
And yet, despite all our worst efforts, He continues to love us. He continues to guide us and lead us, beckoning us on to green pastures and still waters.
There are some people in this world I will never understand. I don't know how they became so hurt. I don't know why they choose to carry their resentments like torches, burning themselves and those who try to care about them. I just don't get it.
But...
People are often unreasonable, illogical,
and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
(The FINAL Analysis - Written by Dr. Kent M. Keith )
...and so I continue the journey.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
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