Well, it's Saturday again. Finally, a chance to breathe.
I woke up at 11:30 today. Actually, that's not quite true. I woke up at 8:30, but decided I wanted to sleep some more. I can do that today. I can choose to take loving care of myself. I've gotten to make that choice a few times lately - taking a day off work to mourn the loss of Kitty, taking another half-day off due to a scheduling mix up. I almost felt guilty for taking the time off. But not quite.
You see, God gives us the opportunity to receive exactly what we need. It may not be exactly how we want it or in the timing we'd expect, but if we are patient and open, we find that we are given exactly what we need.
Most of my life has been spent in frustration over things not being the way I want. Other people don't act the way I want them to. Life circumstances interfere with the peace I seek. Demands on my time get in the way of caring for myself. It often was a daily struggle. I would fight these circumstances hoping to gain peace.
But, that's not quite how this game called Life is meant to be played. We are not meant to fight everyone and everything in order to gain peace. Peace is found in acceptance. And furthermore, we can be grateful as well. Gratitude is found in appreciating the good in every situation, even if it takes a bit to find it.
Peace and gratitude make for a very happy life.
Today, for now anyway, I've stopped fighting. So many things about my life, I've come to accept. I accept that I am a single mother, raising three boys basically on my own. I've accepted that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do. I accept that I cannot grade all the papers and be the perfect teacher. I accept that my house is not the cleanest. I accept that I will not always be perfectly prepared for every surprise that comes my way.
This acceptance has freed me to receive and embrace a lot of good things. I embrace the spontaneity of three lively boys. I embrace the individual uniqueness of all my students. I embrace God's perfect timing and allow for things to be happening exactly as they should. I stop to breathe when I get the chance, and jump in and dance along with life when that is what is called for.
I don't have to try to control the world today. And I am so much happier for it.
Life is so much fun when you let it be. Enjoy life.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
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